Among the peoples of the earth there is neither inferiority nor superiority; that we are all sons and daughters of God and therefore sisters and brothers with each other; and that we have an obligation to respect and help one another.

Each of us occasionally needs to be disciplined and instructed. But such feedback ought to be offered in a spirit of correcting, helping, and strengthening.

.....Gordan B. Hinckley     Standing for Something

I guess I have a bug up my butt.  I have had to listen to someone blame all her and her children's problems on her ex husband and this man use to be my ex husband so I am more than qualified to reply to her comments.  In all fairness he is not perfect.  It takes two people to get married and it takes those same two people to break that marriage apart.  I definitely had my part in the break up and have apologized for the wrongs I did.  He has forgiven me.  He is a wonderful man and I see no reason to bash him just because he didn't live up to the expectations she had for him.  You can't marry someone just because of their potential.  Each of us have things that has happened to them and it has stopped them from becoming more than they are.  Some are molested, raped or just degraded until there is no semblance of Self Worth.  He is such a man.  He tries so hard and can't get passed  his past.  To use the government system to get your revenge is so wrong.  A person can only take so much before they break.  A person needs money to live on.  If you make them pay so much child support and alimony that they can't live on their own then something is wrong.  He has always payed his child support to me and is currently trying to pay the astronomical amount the state of California is telling him to pay.  They went off what they thought he was capable of earning and not what he actually earns.  I am outraged that his ex wife would do this to him just to "kick his butt into gear" and get more than one job.  She lives with her mom and doesn't pay for anything and it was her decision to move there and guilted him into moving with her and the children then proceeded to tell him he couldn't do anything right.  Her parents did the same thing to him until she asked for the divorce then he decided to come back here to Utah were he could afford to live.  He currently lives with his mom and is taking care of her since she was diagnosed with cervical and uterine cancer.  All his free time is in taking care of her.  I will try to feel forgiveness in my heart for this woman but, it will be hard.  What ever happened to compassion?  Does everything have to be about what we can get out of it?  I could say more but it would only be even more depressing.  I know, you say , why doesn't he do something about it?  The answer is he wants to take care of his kids no matter what the expense.  I wish he could find a good woman, who understood him and could accept him for the person he is.  I'd hate to see him lose faith in all women and in the church.  If anyone who reads this has any suggestions, let me know.